TEN DEADLY SINS

1. DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK.
2. CHEAP IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST PRICE.
3. PRETTY, OR HANDSOME, IS ONLY SKIN DEEP.
4. KILLING SOMEONE IN THE PURSUIT OF PEACE IS CRAZY THINKJING.
5. NEVER TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED.
6. TAKING DRUGS WILL NOT BRING YOU HAPPINESS.
7. SELLING DRUGS WILL ALWAYS BRING YOU PRISON TIME.
8. DON'T CHARGE FULL PRICE FOR A HALF-ASSED JOB.
9. NEVER TAKE MORE THAN YOU NEED.
10. DON'T GET RELIGION UNLESS YOU MEAN TO DO SOMETHING GOOD WITH IT.

SUNDAY MORNING TRUTH

I DON'T TRUST GOING INTO ANY CHURCH THAT DISPLAYS AN AMERICAN FLAG. I THINK WE NEED TO KEEP THE CHURCH AND THE FLAG AS FAR AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER AS POSSIBLE. BLENDING THEM TOGETHER CREATES SCARY LITTLE RIGHT-WING CHRISTIAN PESTS. TIME TO CALL ORKIN.

HOW TO CULTIVATE A SPIRITUAL LIFE:

• Attend church on an irregular basis.
• Spend more time practicing good and less time discussing politics.
• Rather than collecting possessions, collect friends.
• Try to understand that you cannot kill your way to peace, or soothe a grieving heart by revenge.
• Don't believe everything you hear, even if they are wearing a collar or a robe.
• It is better to come to faith inwardly rather than outwardly. This is why missionaries are a waste of time, and damning sermons are just that; damning.
• If you think your God is bigger and better than the rest, wait till you see the condom I bought you.
• Religion is not meant to prove anything. It is meant to fill in the void. The darkness. The mystery will always remain, or God will die.
• We are each fashioned after the Divine, which I would translate into meaning we each have a touch of the Divine in us. We should treat one another accordingly. Thus states the Gospel according to The Peever.

AN ODE TO MR. TRUMP

"A LITTLE PATIENCE AND WE SHALL SEE THE REIGN OF WITCHES PASS OVER, THEIR SPELLS DISSOLVE, AND THE PEOPLE, RECOVERING THEIR TRUE SIGHT, RESTORE THEIR GOVERNMENT TO ITS TRUE PRINCIPLES. IT IS TRUE THAT IN A MEANTIME, WE ARE SUFFERING DEEPLY IN SPIRIT, AND INCURRING THE HORRORS OF WAR AND LONG OPPRESSIONS OF ENORMOUS PUBLIC DEBT....IF THE GAME RUNS SOMETIMES AGAINST US AAT HOME WE MUST HAVE PATIENCE TILL LUCK TURNS, AND THEN WE SHALL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY OF WINNING BACK THE PRINCIPLES WE HAVE LOST."

Thomas Jefferson

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I'M AGAINST POLITICAL JOKES. TOO OFTEN THEY GET ELECTED TO OFFICE."

Henny Youngman

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"AS LONG AS THE WORLD SHALL LAST THERE WILL BE WRONGS, AND IF NO MAN OBJECTED AND nO MAN REBELLED, THOSE WRONGS WOULD LAST FOREVER."

Clarence Darrow

FOR MR. TRUMP

"THIS AND NO OTHER IS THE ROOT FROM WHICH A TYRANT SPRINGS: WHEN HE FIRST APPEARS HE IS A PROTECTOR."

Plato

Thomas Lynch-The Undertaking

"THEY DIE AROUND THE CLOCK HERE, WITHOUT APPARENT PREFERENCE FOR A DAY OF THE WEEK, MONTH OF THE YEAR; THERE IS NO CLEAR FAVORITE IN THE WAY OF SEASON. NOR DOES THE ALIGNMENT OF THE STARS, FULLNESS OF MOON, OR LITURGICAL CALENDAR HAVE VERY MUCH TO DO WITH IT. THE WHEREABOUTS ARE NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. THEY GO OFF UPRIGHT OR HORIZONTALLY IN CHEVROLETS AND NURSING HOMES, IN BATHTUBS, ON THE INTERSTATES, IN ERs, ORs, BMWs. AND WHILE IT MAY BE THAT WE ASSIGN MORE EQUIPMENT OR MORE IMPORTANCE TO DEATHS THAT CREATE THEMSELVES IN PLACES MARKED BY INITIALS---ICU BEING SOMEHOW BETTER THAN GREENBRIAR CONVALESCENT HOME---IT IS ALSO TRUE THAT THE DEAD DON'T CARE. IN THIS WAY, THE DEAD I BURY AND BURN ARE LIKE THE DEAD BEFORE THEM, FOR WHOM TIME AND SPACE HAVE BECOME MORTALLY UNIMPORTANT. THIS LOSS OF INTEREST IS, IN FACT, ONE OF THE FIRST SURE SIGNS THAT SOMETHING SERIOUS IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. THE NEXT THING IS THEY QUIT BREATHING. AT THIS POINT, TO BE SURE, A GUNSHOT WOUND TO THE CHEST OR SHOCK AND TRAUMA WILL GET MORE INK THAN A CVA OR ASHD, BUT NO CAUSE OF DEATH IS ANY LESS PERMANENT THAN THE OTHER. ANY ONE WILL DO. THE DEAD DON'T CARE."