SUNDAY MORNING SERMON: I CAME BACK HAUNTED

It was 15 yrs. ago today I had a heart attack. It wasn't bad, but did require open heart surgery. No problem until 10 wks, later. A massive sternal staph infection. They called my family in twice, thinking I was about to die. I came back haunted.

• After being out for 8 days with a 105.8 degree temperature, no one was for sure if my brain hadn't been fried. As luck would have it, I'm the same left handed, left leaning nut I was, minus a bit of memory. Unfortunately, I can still remember all my failings. Just the luck.
• You get to wondering why you were spared? I haven't come up with really a whole lot. I haven't turned over any new leaves, to speak of. I did decide to finish 18 hrs of credit in seminary to finish a theology degree I started in 1971. My first course was hard. I forgot how demanding and time consuming graduate courses can be. My professor took it really seriously. More serious than I was hoping. Still, I managed an A. Actually, it was credit with distinction. No letter grades. First time I've ever done anything with distinction. It felt pretty good.
• I am trying to use my time in a more useful and effective way. I volunteer on Tuesday and Thursday at the food bank in Hot Springs. I mainly load food as providers come in to pick it up. The work can be a little heavy, but so far I've managed. I enjoy meeting all the providers of service. Sure a lot of good people. I'm thinking of changing one day, or adding one day, to serving meals at the Salvation Army. I miss the contact with people receiving services. It makes me feel uncomfortable seeing so many people in need, which I prefer over getting naive' and comfortable with the status quo. I feel more useful and in touch with the community.
• I am, unfortunately, getting less and less tolerant with all the right-wing nonsense going on. It all seems pretty hateful and racist oriented to me. I channel my frustration into writing, which helps. Where these people are coming from is a place I have never been, thank God. I'm glad I came back haunted. Not only am I haunted about what might happen when you die, I am haunted about what might happen if you live.