I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN IF I CAN'T GET IN

FIGURE IT OUT. WHAT'S THE CHANCES?  I GOT MY SPEECH READY, JUST IN CASE. ST. PETER CANT BE ALL THAT WITH IT. HE'S REALLY OLD. I'M GOING TO OPEN UP WITH THE STANDARD: I DID MY BEST. NOT REALLY A GOOD ARGUMENT, BUT I NEED TO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM SPECIFICS. I DON'T HAVE A GOOD ANSWER FOR, DID I HELP THE POOR ENOUGH, OR DID I GIVE ENOUGH FOOD TO THE HUNGRY, OR DID I SHELTER THE HOMELESS. I GOT TO STICK WITH MORE GENERALITIES, LIKE I REALLY FEEL BAD ABOUT ALL THAT, BUT I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME. I'M FIGURING HE'LL FALL FOR IT, CAUSE IT CAN'T BE ALL THAT CROWED UP THERE. ADMISSIONS ARE PROBABLY LOW, AND I AM A PRETTY GOOD TALKER.