- Don't skimp on the toilet paper.
- Never trust anyone wearing a long-sleeved, white shirt in 90 degree weather.
- Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.
- Showing off body parts is a trick that eventually wears thin.
- Never lick a steak knife.
- Life insurance is a no win situation.
- If someone is nice to you, but not to the waitress, walk away.
- Marriage is not a fairy tale, it's an ordeal.
- No matter what you think about growing old, or how many hair
implants you have, or how much plastic surgery you get, its going to
happen. Don't make yourself look ridiculous in the process.
- Not every day is going to be good.
- Old men fall for younger woman. Old women get even.
- Communities are not built, they're lived.
- Bad happens. Disasters occur. Sorrow abounds. But you can chose to live happily.
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