Sunday, September 30, 2012

Answering the E-mail

Dear Peever: What do you think about all the right-wing Republicans in the Village?  Bob
Dear Bob: It clearly ain't paradise.

Dear Mr. Peever: What are all those fish I see on the back of cars?  Helen
Dear Helen: I think it means those people like to fish. They're in luck. A lot of lakes.

Mr. Peever: What do you think about the presidential election?  Karen
Dear Karen:  Obama will easily win. Mitt can go back to singing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Dear Bruce: You have make it clear you don't like guns. What about the second amendment?  Dick
Dear Dick: What about Peever Law #22: Most people that own a handgun will either shot someone they know or themselves. Preferably themselves.

Dear Mr. Weik: How can we possibly pay for health-care for everyone? Mary
Dear Mary: The same way we pay for war's in Iraq and Afghanistan, or a $700 billion bailout of the banks, or all the tax breaks we give to the rich: Suck it up and print more money.

Dear Mr. Peever: Do you think Israel will attack Iran?  Lou
Dear Lou: Hell, I think Israel might attack the U.S. They live by the sword. You would think they would know better.

Peever: Are you pessimistic or optimistic about the future?  Charles
Dear Charles: I am cautiously optimistic. There are a lot of good things happening. Besides, we have already climbed out of the primordial ooze once. I'm thinking we can surely do it again, if necessary.

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