Sunday, November 18, 2012

Cheap Advice for Republicans

Republicans are suddenly waking up to the fact that they may never again win a Presidential election unless they make some dramatic changes. I have a few suggestions:
  1. Turn Democratic
  2. Get rid of the Tea and start drinking beer.
  3. Try to remember this: Your way is not the only way. I realize this will be difficult for you. You are used to getting your way. It's not going to work anymore. We got your number.
  4. Try to understand that not everyone is rich and stupid.
  5. Voter suppression is not going to work. If you can't win honestly, your not going to win at all. No more Ohio or Florida bullshit. People will stand in line for 48 hrs. if they have to. Your days of cheating us are over. 
  6. You need to dump all the advisers you hired for this election, particularly Rove. Send him out to pasture, where he can rove around with the other has-been jackasses.
  7. You keep pushing the poor into the ground, you're going to wish you hadn't.
  8. The way you want to treat females, it's kind of a Dark Ages kind-of-thing. I can't get over how completely arrogant you guys are. I bet your wives end up voting Democratic. That would be really funny.
  9. You want to have religion and be Christian, that's fine. Nobody cares, and it's probably an alright thing, except for other Christians. But none-the-less, be what you want to be and shut the hell up about it. But most importantly, keep it out of your politics. Most people do not want Church and State to walk hand and hand down the isle.
  10. If none of these appeal to you, or you think they're too hard, go back to number one.

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