Friday, November 16, 2012

Wise Thoughts on a Little Bit of Everything

  • Life is sexually transmitted.
  • Men have two emotions: hunger and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  • All of us should learn a lesson from Mother Nature: She doesn't give a damn what we do or think.
  • It wouldn 't hurt if about half of everyone on Earth went somewhere else.
  • I guess religion is ok. It beats sitting around having nothing to talk about.
  • If you give a person a fish, they'll eat it. If you teach them to fish, you'll never see them again.
  • The average cost of raising a dog to age 15: $12,000. The average cost of raising a child to age 18: $170,460. Score one for the dogs.
  • You can try to lick your elbow, but it won't work.
  • When it's time to retire, you'll know it. Your job will no longer make cents.
  • In life, there are way too many things to remember. To help you out, I narrowed it down to  this:

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