Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Peever's Ten Commandments

1. Never sunbath in the nude. You might forget to turn the other cheek.
2. Do not look at another mans ox, nor his ass. You shouldn't even be thinking that way.
3. Do not cheat your fellow man. There are no exceptions for lawyers, politicians, or CEO's.
4. Do not join a country club. It's not nice trying to fool God into thinking there are only white people.
5. Do not think that you are better than the next person. This will help aboid number four and might possibly keep you from spontaneously combusting.
6. Do not change our sex. God does not like this, nor will the guy making a pass at a girl who is really a guy. Or vice versa.
7. Do not idolize more than one God at a time. This is way to confusing for most people.
8. Go to church on Sunday and do no work. Golf counts for church, and it is not considered work. But be sure to pray that putt goes in.
9. Do not use the name of the Lord in vain. And don't cuss. And don't drink. Hell, don't have any fun at all.
10. Finally, never, ever, doubt the word of The Peever. For He has been to the promised land. Well, maybe it was just Las Vegas, but still....

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