Wednesday, January 2, 2013

God Speaks to The Peever

  • Holy Crap! What are you guys doing down there?
  • Heart attacks are my revenge for eating my animal friends.
  • Keep hiding behind closed gates. I'll get you.
  • With hurricanes, earthquakes, fires, tornadoes, terrorists, and Congress, are yo sure you want to take my name out of the Pledge of Allegiance?
  • I made man before woman to give him time to make up an excuse.
  • Keep your words soft and sweet. You never know when you're going to have to eat them.
  • Peever, your sole purpose in life is to peeve people off.
  • Sure I get angry. I made you in my image, didn't I? Mistakes anger me.
  • If you walk by a person on the street who is hungry, homeless, alone, needs assistance, guess what?
  • The Garden of Eden, and Noah's Ark are examples of mythological stories that have appeared in every culture since the beginning. Don't be stupid.
  • Here's the thing: Of all the creatures in the universe, you guys had the most promise. Now I'm thinking you have to stop procreating. Everything else will fall into place.

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